After Christina's death, we didn't know how to deal with our feelings. We were lucky to have tremendous support from our family and friends. But when they left and we lifted the shield we'd put up to show them we were OK, we were in agony.

We liken our pain to a wave in the ocean. The loss begins as a tidal wave -- hurtling across the sea with destructive force.  Everyone who faces a tidal wave believes they are going to die, even if only for a moment. Over the weeks and months, the waves become smaller; although, as in the ocean, they never go away. And from time-to-time, a storm blows in and the waves crash again ... pounding us with sadness.

There is no way to make the sadness "go away". There are only ways of listening to the pain, turning our minds to the wonderful ways that Christina affected our lives, and believing that she has found health and happiness in heaven.

Lynne began to read voraciously about grief, death and spirituality. I read, too, but couldn't keep her pace. We found this helpful ... at least in understanding what was happening to us (as others accounted how it happened to them). We've listed some of the books that we got the most from.

In many of the books, we learned about support group called The Compassionate Friends -- a support group of bereaved parents. Participating in their meetings has been helpful.

Finally, we have each other. Perhaps that has been the most important thing of all.